Quotes

Buffy : *stakes a vampire* And they say one person can't make a difference.

Anya : Look at him. Have you ever seen anything so masculine
Buffy : You mean Guerrero or his wife?
Willow : I think she means... *points to Xander*
Buffy : Oh. Very manly. Not at all village people. So much sexier than the outfit from his last job.
Willow : Oh, I miss the free hot dogs on sticks.

Willow : What a load of horse hooey.
Buffy : We have a counterpoint?

Anya : Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice.
Buffy : It's not really a one of those.
Anya : To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice, with pie.

Anya : Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again.
Buffy : Imaginary Xander is quite the machine.

Buffy : It's so not fair. I mean, they all get a family holiday just because they can go home to their families.
Willow : Hmm, it's a turvy-topsy world.

Willow : Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death.
Buffy : It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham.
Willow : You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this.

Willow : Ooh. We could not invite Anya.

Riley : As long as he knows about the Initiative, he's a threat. We do this the professor's way.
Forrest : *cough*Mama's boy.*cough*
Riley : That's a nasty cough. You might need to spend the weekend in quarantine.
Forrest : Oh, no. I'm done coughing.

Xander : Ok. I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it.
Anya : We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trousers off.

Willow : Maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix.
Buffy : That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will.

Willow : We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self-inflicted, like Van Gogh?
Buffy : So... She brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?
Willow : No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body... - I'm really off my game, aren't I?

Buffy : I thought I was going to have to use slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling.

Giles : Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house.
Buffy : Giles, if you would like to get by in american society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities, or it's all meaningless.
Giles : And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the cleanup?

Buffy : But that's whipped cream in a canister. Look, it's only right if you whip it yourself.
Willow : Hey, and then later, we can churn our own butter and make sweaters out of sheep.

Buffy : Riley. Where'd you come from? I didn't see you at all.
Riley : Oh, just across the street... And a couple of blocks down. Hey, Willow.
Willow : Hi. Well, I'm just gonna let you two... Look, they're selling coffee in the coffee shop. Yum.

Willow: Oh! Angel... - evil! You're all evil again.

Angel : Willow, I'm here to protect Buffy. I don't have a whole lot of time for personal stuff.
Willow : Right. Well, how can I help?
Angel : Well, if you can just tell me... *looks at Riley* Who's that guy?

Buffy : I'm a great cook... In theory. I've eaten a lot.

Buffy : Iowa. That's one of the ones in the middle, right?

Riley : It is. After dinner, we all go for a walk down by the river with the dogs. There's trees and... And I know what you're thinking. It's like I grew up in a Grant Wood painting.
Buffy : Exactly. If I knew who that was.

Harmony : Out. I mean it. I've been doing a lot of reading, and I'm in control of my own power now, so we're through.

Harmony : I'm powerful, and I'm beautiful, and I don't need you to complete me.

Hus : You can't stop me.
Buffy : You're very wrong about that.

Hus : I am vengeance. I am my people's cry. They call for hus, for the avenging spirit to carve out justice.
Buffy : They tell you to start an ear collection?

Buffy : And native american.
Giles : Sorry?
Buffy : We don't say "Indian."
Giles : Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as "bloody colonials."

Giles : This spirit warrior - Hus, you called him - has killed innocent people.
Buffy : Ok. You know what? We need to boil those and put them through the ricer.
Giles : I don't think I have a ricer.
Buffy : You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?
Giles : Well, do you have one at home?
Buffy : I don't know. What's a ricer?

Buffy : So what happened to the Chumash?
Willow : How about imprisonment, forced labor, herded like animals into a mission full of bad european diseases.
Buffy : Boy. Cultural partnership center really didn't stress any of that stuff.

Willow : I don't think you wanna help. I think you just wanna slay the demon, then go "La la la!"

Giles : We have to stop this thing.
Willow : Ok, unfeeling guy.

Buffy : Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, Giles.
Giles : It's sort of an end in itself.

Xander : Slaying him? The representative from syphilis votes yeah.

Spike : Help me.
Buffy: *pushes him back in sunlight*
Spike: Ohh! What part of help me do you not understand?
Buffy : The part where I help you.

Spike : Oh, damn it! look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell 'em what I did.
Willow : You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy.
Spike : Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you.

Spike : I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore.

Buffy : So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals!

Spike : Grrr. Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation.
Buffy : You don't have any circulation.
Spike : Well, it pinches.

Spike : Oh, someone put a stake in me.
Xander : You got a lot of volunteers in here.

Spike : I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.
Buffy : Uh, the preferred term...
Spike : You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.

Spike : You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.
Xander : Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... some of that made sense.
Giles : I made these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me.

Spike : You know what happens to vampires who don't get to feed?
Giles: I always wondered that, actually.
Buffy : Giles, plates.
Spike : Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny.
Buffy : You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right?
Spike : Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood.

Willow : I think he thought we were crazy.
Xander : Maybe if Anya hadn't opened the conversation with, "Everybody got both ears?"

Anya : So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?
Xander : He's evil again.
Angel : I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?
Willow : Angel's here to protect Buffy.
Angel : I haven't been evil for a long time.

Buffy : Your knife can kill you.
Hus : *turns into a bear*
Spike : A bear! You made a bear!
Buffy : I didn't mean to.
Spike : Undo it! Undo it!

Xander : I don't know. Seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we're all sleepy.
Giles : And we did all survive.

Xander : *pats Anya* And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up.
Buffy : And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.

Willow : It was like old times.
Xander : Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything.
Buffy : *gives everyone a 'What?!' look*
Everyone : *looks at Buffy*
*End credits*
Xander : Oops.